DAY 189: FORGIVEN

I got an unexpected late night phone call from a Facebook Friend yesterday. I've known her since childhood, but after we got the initial business of her call out of the way we had a long and interesting conversation concerning things that I never imagined we'd ever speak to one another about.

She told me she has felt bad about something from years ago that I have not even given a second thought to for a very long long time.

She mentioned that she feels she knows me a little better because of my posts here and on Facebook, and I guess I know her better, as well, because of our digital posts - and for that I am glad. Our online friendship apparently started to bother her or rekindle a regret she had in the past, because she felt she had some unfinished business with me I guess you could say.

I've thought a lot about last night's conversation today.

She will probably read this, so...this one's for YOU!

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I would like to say here that all is totally forgiven, and I have no hard feelings AT ALL. And I appreciate your honesty!

I have done plenty of things in my life that I have wished forgiveness for - things worse than what has been burdoning you about me.

One day I had what one might call an epiphany, of sorts.

I had been just miserable about a wrong done to me, and I'd been so upset. How dare they do this to moi!

But then I began to think about all the wrongs I had done to others...  : ( 

Those memories of how I had hurt others far outweighed the injustice I happened to be experiencing at the time - my own failures weighed me down far more.

I realized that if I ever hoped to be truly forgiven and feel that childlike freedom in my heart once again, I must FIRST forgive others for any hurts that have come my way. I thought of the prayer most of us say so often. The Our Father. And the passage, "Forgive us our trespasses AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US"! Basically, we've all been praying that prayer since we learned to talk, and are condemning ourselves if we are not willing to forgive others completely. Kind of scary.

It was as though a ton of bricks had been lifted from my spirit when I had that realization and acted on it. At that moment, I forgave everything - *just like that*. I can't believe how easy it was! It seemed so difficult, but when I wanted it with all my heart, it was easy. And how good it felt! Only then did I have confidence that I would somehow be shown similar mercy for any hurts I've caused others. And only then was my own burden lifted.

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I hope my facebook friend never has a negative feeling about the incident in question ever again. Life is rarely easy and she has had more than her own share of hard times in lots of ways, so I imagine it will be quite a struggle for her to totally forgive all those who've hurt her at once (it took me a very long time, as well), but I hope it won't be long for her that she'll get to the point where she can truly just bare her soul and offer up the hurts she has experienced in her life and know with confidence that her own slate is wiped clean; when that happens,  it's truly a brand new day.

That's just the way it is.

The pictures I'm including in this entry are significant to me, and this seems like a good place to save them. That's all.

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